Yesterday, had a unexpected test for VM subject. Of coz i did not study for it. However guess i could at least pass it. Had 2 classes, so my day started from 8am till 5pm. What a day. I was with dear Mammoth the whole day, after class ended i asked if she'd like to join me to Long Zi Meng coz i'm looking for a book. But turned down as she have to meet up with her landlord. She introduced me to her indo friends. They're great.
I walked home wondering if i should still go. Hesitating. Getting out my phone from my bag, usually the first person i dial would be him. However, i hold back. I ended up calling my sister asking if she would be interested. Piff... Turned down again. I walked to a lil bookstore in parkson to check out the book, but they din have it. Aih... Since i'm in the mood, i left my things back home n headed out again.
Walked to the subway, thinking about things happening lately. Things that'll be happening in near future n future. I just wallk walk walk n took subway. When i reached the mall i headed straight to the bookstore. was a lil hungry though. but after reading i forgot. kekekke. Picked up a few books, sat at the corner n read. All in chinese, lol. Surprisingly i somehow understand wat i read. Maybe skipped a few words i din know n guess a lil. hahahha. Usually when i pick up chinese reading materials i'll just read the first line n chuck it aside. This time i read half a chapter. lol. Good progression. :P
Glance thru a few more books, then i decided to buy 2 of em. Too bad the one i was looking forward to was sold out. Cant even pre order it d. sob sob. These books dun really help me in studies though. hahahah. But i hope after reading it i'll learn to be a better person. A more understandin n mature girl.
"A friend of mine thought me something, to let it loose n give room. Yea i've done it. but in the end he just wanted everything. It's not room i'm giving now. It's giving up unintentionally. "
Put this aside. after getting the books i headed home. Sometimes things really happened for a reason. If Mammoth of sis had followed i wouldn't be there reading books. They'll just ask me get it n leave. lol. It's good to have some private time alone at times. Makes me have no worries.
Day ends...
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It's thursday today. I woke up feeling a bit upset. For two day's we've not been online. He's been avoiding me. Even when he's online he just sign out. Sms-ing is not a very difficult thing to do. He just ask me to shut up n let him do his stuff. During the night he does treat me good but on the phone for the few minutes. I do wonder if this is all? As a gf should i just be contented with this? I do complain a lot about my relationship. Coz he is mean most of the time. But we are human. No one is perfect. So do i.
Learn that, love is just so complicated n it hurts a lot if u dont look at it in the right angle. using a right perspective. Different people just have different wants from love. It's a matter of finding the right person that can give n take the right amount so that both of them could be contented. Love is so much about tolerating. N tolerating is really a hard thing for me to learn.
I wonder what is the thing that really holds us together.
Remembered last time when i say, these stuff wont affect my studies. Wont affect my life. However, things changes. I've changed. I have to take back my words and admit it does affect. But i know i'm strong enough to move thru these obstacles. Thanks to my babes over here in Shanghai. Great assignment buddies whom i do not need to worry much. As compared to last time. 1 person do 4 person job. Now everything is so much better.
I'll have to learn to love myself more. N take things lightly. Being less emo is quite important though. hahaha.
“ 要爱别人，先要学会爱自己。”
With love,
Aj
(MEITA, APPLE, ANNJOE)
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